Celebrating Screen Free Week is a great way to begin limiting your life in front of a screen and setting a great example for our children.  Without electronics, where would we be?  As old as I am, I do remember those long, carefree days without cell phones and cable...sadly, my kiddos have no such memories.  But it's easy enough to slow it all down, one day at a time.

“The life given us, by nature is short; but the memory of a well-spent life is eternal.”

-- Marcus Tullius Cicero

Moving On Meeting

All parents of 2nd and 3rd graders please join the Parent Organization Thursday April 11th at 6:30 in Mary Loew's room for a quick meeting to help get ready for this year's Moving On ceremony.

It’s O.K. to Put Yourself First...

APRIL 7, 2013, 9:01 AM

It’s O.K. to Put Yourself First

By GLENNON MELTON

After I found out I had neurological Lyme disease, I spent two painful years attempting to recover. Since there was no end in sight, I thought a lot about how I’d change things if I ever got my life back. I considered how I would spend my energy if I were ever granted any. When I finally climbed out of bed, I decided that to the greatest extent possible, I would quit doing the things I didn’t like to do and do the things I did like to do.

Self-care is no easy undertaking in a culture that glorifies martyrdom as the wife/mommy/woman ideal and living in community as the family ideal. Deciding to take care of oneself first feels radical and dangerous, because it makes other folks uncomfortable. But an experience like mine with Lyme disease makes a woman care a lot less about what makes other people crazy and more about what makes her crazy.

In my worst Lyme years, often bed-bound, I dreamed of the ocean. The ocean calms me, as does a slow-paced lifestyle. Limited social interaction is good for me. I need other people in moderation. And no rat race, please — too much ambition makes me jumpy. Also, I love Jesus, but not church. Lately, just like marriage and parenting, church feels like not enough and too much. So for now, Sundays are for the kids, the ocean and time to think and pray. Sacred enough for me.

That’s selfish, they say. Antisocial. No neighborhood? No ambition? No church? Sacrilegious. Un-American. What about the kids? What about community?

But what about the individual? What about her? In all of those years of striving for community, I lost her. And I want her back.

To that end, we moved out of our McMansion in a D.C. suburb and into a condo in a retirement community near an island. My kids don’t have a lot of friends here, but they do have a lot of grandmas. When they’re grown, they can decide where to live. Adults are allowed to do that. We really are.

We’re also allowed to say these things, if we want to:

No, I can’t go to the PTA meeting. No, I can’t do those dishes — you’ll have to. No, I can’t travel to the destination wedding; I’m saving up for a quiet weekend away with my sister. No, no girls’ night for me — how about coffee next week, instead?

Before I got sick, I would have worried about what people would think of these refusals. Would they accept my No, I can’ts? Now, to my great relief, I see that what matters is that I accept my own No, I can’ts. Because now I see that every no is a yes to something else that fits better.

Two months ago, my husband and I separated. In the aftermath, I’ve found myself using the same survival skills that helped me through my disease. Each moment, I ask myself two questions: How can I love myself best right now? What do I need?

The answers are usually the same: I need to sweat a little, take a short nap, watch an hour of Bravo, eat some Twizzlers. Some days I need a trip to my holistic doctor, and other days it’s a stop at the Botox center. I’ve discovered that happiness is leaving yourself be — silencing the accusatory voices in your head and embracing all your contradictions.

Focusing on answering those two little questions makes waiting on the answers to the big questions (my marriage, my health) tolerable. I can’t answer the big questions anyway. But the little ones are all mine.

Since I know what I need today, I’ll be fine if my marriage comes back together. And since I know what I need today, I’ll be fine if it doesn’t. I’ll be fine if my Lyme flares up again or if it stays quiet. And my kids are O.K. because I am. They’re watching me. They are watching me survive and squeeze out joy from each day, no matter what comes.

They will learn that they do not have to take care of their mama — that their dad doesn’t even have to take care of their mama — because she’s got that covered. They do not have a martyr for a mother, so they will learn that neither parenting nor marriage requires martyrdom. They will learn that caring for oneself is one’s own privilege and responsibility, forever and ever, amen.

Thanks to my Lyme disease, I finally feel certain that I am the great love of my life. I know what my love needs, and I know how to take care of her. It’s a beautiful, lasting relationship.

Happiness...

Screen Time and Childhood

Screen Time and Childhood

by Jennifer Rogers 

Fourteen years ago the American Academy of Pediatrics issued a policy statement addressing children’s screen time that created a media hubbub. The statement was weak and ineffective. The ruckus was in grand disproportion to the Academy’s ho-hum recommendation that parents “avoid television for children under the age of two years.” 

It generated no positive results. Screen time for all children continues to increase. Parents still consider the television a member of the family. Mobile apps are every parent’s new best friend.

Parents now assume screen time is an important element in early childhood development. Only 14% of parents remember their pediatricians giving any advice about media use, despite the Academy’s 2011 reassertion of their policy. Pediatricians know parents quit listening to that message more than a decade ago. Our best educators worry about the influence of unregulated technology use on the growth of young minds, wonder at the obvious but under-reported connections between screen time and the deterioration of attention. They know they cannot hold the attention of children raised on two-second sound bites.

Children spend an average of five to seven hours every day in front of a screen. The only activity that occupies more time for children is sleeping. These same young kids are experiencing speech and language delays, and chronic attention problems. Literacy is becoming increasingly hard to achieve, creativity rare. Though there is little research to establish connections between so many young children’s failure to thrive and their over-exposure to technologies, the conclusion that screen time is corroding young minds seems ridiculously obvious to most teachers.

The AAP’s most recent research indicates that a shocking 90% of children younger than two watch some form of electronic media. By age three, one third of these kids have televisions in their bedrooms. Modern parents consider one of the most unpredictably dangerous influences on the lives of young children to be a peacekeeper, a “safe” activity for their children.

Well-educated, upwardly mobile parents fancy educational technology for kids. Lower income families use the television as a babysitter. The New York Times calls this the “app gap.” The Times points out that both sets of parents are thumbing their noses at the AAP, relying on screens to occupy their children.

The Mayo Clinic’s available information for parents acknowledges a lack of definitive research, but links too much screen time to behavioral problems, irregular sleep, poor academic performance and, most convincingly, obesity. Most major public health organizations have described obesity in epidemic terms. Screen time is obviously not the only cause of obesity, but experts consider it a primary gateway to things like soda pop, sedentary lifestyles and high-fat snack foods.

The effects of screen time on the health of families are easy to visualize. They are All American images: An overweight family gathered around the television, eating separate, high-fat meals, sharing two-liter bottles of soda. Young children eating finger-foods in their car seats, mesmerized by the screens attached to their parents’ head rests. Bug-eyed youngsters passing time on iPads and cell phones loaded with mobile apps.

The AAP, the National Institute of Health and the Mayo Clinic urge parents to limit and plan screen time, and strongly discourage allowing children to eat in front of a screen. Do not allow children to have televisions or computers in their bedrooms, they say. Do not leave the television on throughout the day. Make choices. Plan outdoor activities. Turn the television off for a day. Though teachers know parents are not following the AAP guidelines, they know less screen time for longer would build a healthier child.

A paltry 10% of parents follow the AAP guidelines. There are apps available for kids so young they are more inclined to chew the cell phone. Fishing poles and family meals are Norman Rockwell, retro visions of a time that may be forever gone. The thought of commuting or eating or falling asleep without a screen makes most parents shudder.

Teachers do not have spare time and money to sponsor research. Studies into the effects of screen time on children will probably always be poorly funded and inherently limited in scope and value. Even the best studies cannot compare a mature adult with the person she might have become, had she enjoyed a different upbringing. When a child is diagnosed with hyperactivity or an attention deficit, parents can get a prescription with relative ease. But they cannot get a do-over. When an adolescent commits an act of violence, it’s too late to turn off the video games.

Good parenting has never been easy. Bad parenting has never been easier. Screen time seems like a safe, peaceful, educational way for parents to entertain their children. Teachers of every age group know we will have to change our approaches to remain relevant and keep kids engaged in learning. Good teachers of the world will continue to dream of every child reaching his or her potential. Good parents of the world will dream too, resisting, adjusting and adapting to protect our children from the influences most of the world has accepted without question.

Jennifer Rogers has been a primary teacher for 20 years, the last 10 at Countryside Montessori School in Northbrook, Illinois.  She completed AMI primary training in Atlanta, Georgia and AMI Assistants to Infancy in Denver, Colorado.

Three minutes of sweetness...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TovzOXeh24

Makers: Women Who Make America

Such A Great Video:

http://video.pbs.org/video/2331257357

Overscheduled kids, anxious parents By Josh Levs , CNN updated 9:12 AM EST, Fri March 8, 2013

CNN.com

Editor's note: CNN's Josh Levs covers top stories and hosts "Dads Do it Differently" on HLN's "Raising America." This column was inspired in part by his HOBY World Leadership Congress keynote talk,"Shine."

(CNN) -- Are we, as a nation, making childhood too stressful for millions of kids?

Are we cramming them into too many after-school activities without an eye toward what lessons they'll learn about themselves?

Have we forgotten what childhood can and should be like?

These are just a few of the big existential worries that spiral out of a simple-sounding question millions of parents ask ourselves: What activities should my children be involved in?

As a dad to two young boys, I'm quickly learning what so many parents already know: It's stressful territory that involves a tough balancing act.

But recently, standing before a large crowd, I had a realization that now serves as my guidepost, and that I hope will help others.

What if your kid's a budding prodigy?

Good parents want to help our kids learn skills, gain confidence, find interests and try new things. When they're young, it's easy to want to give them every opportunity.

But that's impossible, not to mention expensive.

One of my boys has drummed to the beat since he was a baby, so I'm looking into drum lessons. The other can't stop dancing, so maybe he'll take dance lessons. Both love playing catch with me. Tee ball time?

The oldest, in kindergarten, chose tennis lessons. And they both love their swim lessons.

The possibilities are endless.

What if one is meant to be a pole vaulting chess prodigy, and the other's an Olympic gymnast who paints masterpieces? How will they know if we don't introduce them to all these things?

And so the spiraling begins, which helps lead some parents to sign our kids up for too many activities.

There are studies saying the "overscheduled child" is a "myth," but those are about generation-wide statistics. The fact remains that some kids are kept far too busy.

"Parents need to teach their kids to balance human doing with human being," said clinical psychologist Paula Bloom.

Kids need to know they're not defined by what they do, she said. They need time to play, experiment, rest and figure out who they are.

"As parents, we've got to get over our anxiety that we're not doing enough. Creating a sense of safety, helping kids have confidence to try certain things, those are the things that matter."

As kids get older, they'll show you more and more what they're interested in, Bloom notes.

And, yes, we all make mistakes.

"As adults, your kids are going to tell their therapists, 'Oh my parents never let me play piano,' or some other activity. It's going to happen. Being able to tolerate that is really important."

League sports for little kids?

Many of my kids' friends started soccer leagues at age 3. My wife and I asked ourselves: Do we want our boys to be the only ones without soccer skills? We want them to know they can do anything and to join the camaraderie.

But on top of their other activities, our kids have religious education one weekend morning. Soccer would mean not a single morning all week to relax at home, unstructured.

A great dad I know, a personal trainer (full disclosure: mine) who works regularly with teen athletes, is vehemently against kids entering sports leagues before they're about age 11 or 12.

Adults are "trying to instill grown-up values and competitive nature on a kid, and they're nowhere near that yet," said Robert Stephens. "They're trying to make them into world champions. That's nuts!"

Stephens, who along with his wife raised two boys, wants kids to start playing neighborhood pickup games again.

"It teaches them how to regulate themselves, make up rules," and fix problems, he said.

But these days, that rarely happens. And as CNN has reported, league sports are helping fill a vacuum and keep many kids active.

Your advice:

In a Facebook discussion, some parents said their kids' sports leagues are mostly about having fun.

Dawn Ladd said her 6-year-old daughter's soccer league is "organized, but obviously not competitive."

Still, many parents say leagues aren't right for their little ones.

"We tried... and it was awful. What 4-year-old is ready?" asks Christina Comstock. She now limits her son's activities to scouts and karate. #kids

Many parents wrote that two activities at a time is their maximum. But others have seen their children thrive on busy schedules.

My colleague Jo Parker's two children have done ballet for years. Her 12-year-old daughter goes five days a week. Cutting back might make the family's life easier, Parker said. "But she loves it too much!"

Ultimately, it's up to each family.

"There's no decision tree," said Bloom, no "perfect cocktail."

There is, however, a critical element that often falls to the wayside: the family's overall lifestyle.

"There are families with so much stress because all weekend they're traveling to games. We don't let our kids drive all the decisions in our families. They don't have to drive extracurricular decisions," Bloom said.

And many parents get so busy with kids' activities that they let their marriages falter, she said. "Parents need to ask themselves: What are you modeling for your kid?"

The realization:

I was standing in front of hundreds of teenagers when I realized something about raising my own kids.

It was a keynote address to the Hugh O'Brian Youth Leadership (HOBY) World Leadership Congress. 

My message was to "be the cups and ice," my way of saying you should chase and maximize all your opportunities to achieve dreams and to "shine" by being unique, following your instincts.

As I looked out at these kids from all over the world who have stepped up in their communities and shown great potential, it struck me that I couldn't care less whether they can run an 8-minute mile, play the violin, or set up a tent.

I care that they know they can achieve anything, that they understand big rewards come from perseverance and hard work, that they treat others as they'd want to be treated.

I care that they fill their lives with positivity, love and friendship, and take time for those things.

I realized I had gotten caught up in the means, not the end.

It isn't about a search for the perfect activities. My role as a parent is to help guide my kids to that good place. And there are plenty of ways to get there.

Do not skip breakfast--or your grades could pay a price!

A Better Breakfast Can Boost a Child's Brainpower

by ALLISON AUBREY

September 04, 2006 3:47 PM

Evidence suggests that eating breakfast really does help kids learn. After fasting all night, a developing body (and brain) needs a fresh supply of glucose — or blood sugar. That's the brain's basic fuel.

"Without glucose," explains Terrill Bravender, professor of pediatrics at Duke University, "our brain simply doesn't operate as well. People have difficulty understanding new information, [they have a] problem with visual and spatial understanding, and they don't remember things as well."

Dozens of studies from as far back as the 1950s have consistently shown that children who eat breakfast perform better academically than those who don't. In a recent study of 4,000 elementary school students, researchers measured the effects of eating breakfast by administering a battery of attention tests. To measure short-term memory, researchers read a series of digits out loud — 5, 4, 2 and so on — and asked the children to repeat them. The children were scored on how many digits they could remember correctly. To test verbal fluency, the kids were asked to name all the animals they could think of in 60 seconds. Across the board, Murphy says, the breakfast eaters performed better than those children who had skipped breakfast.

With the preponderance of evidence suggesting that breakfast is key, the next question becomes: Does it matter what kind of breakfast kids eat?

The answer is: Yes.

Bravender, for example, says he'd never serve his children heavily sweetened cereals. "Any sugared cereal really has a high glycemic index."

The glycemic index is a measure of how quickly the carbohydrates in food are absorbed into our bodies and converted to fuel. When it comes to sustained brain power, Bravender explains, food that is low on the scale — such as whole grains — are preferable. Even though a bowl of sugary cereal and a bowl of old-fashioned oatmeal may have the same number of carbohydrates, they have very different glycemic loads.

Sugary cereals get into your body quickly and cause a peak in blood-sugar levels, but the levels then fall dramatically after two hours or so. Oatmeal, on the other hand, is absorbed slowly, so oatmeal eaters gets a slow rise in blood sugar and enough energy to last through the morning.

What's more, oatmeal eaters don't experience a steep drop in blood-sugar levels, and that's a good thing. A dip in blood sugar can bring with it a release of hormones that affect mood. In some children, the hormones seem to affect concentration and memory.

Scientists have recently begun to study this phenomenon. Last year, Tufts University psychologist Holly Taylor had one group of children eat sweetened oatmeal for breakfast while another ate Cap'n Crunch cereal. Then both groups were given academic tasks, like memorizing the names of countries on a map. The oatmeal eaters did up to 20 percent better than the Crunch consumers. To Taylor, that shows that "the children were remembering more information about these maps after having eaten oatmeal."

And it wasn't as if the oatmeal wasn't sweet. Both cereals had the same sugar content. But Taylor says that the oatmeal had more protein and fiber, and therefore a lower glycemic index.

These findings beg more research. But Duke's Terrill Bravender believes there are some basic rules to follow. First, families should make sure kids eat something for breakfast. And if the goal is to find foods with a low glycemic index, then serve fewer processed foods. That will improve the odds that your child's blood sugar will hold steady until lunch.

Breakfast of Scholars: What Eggs-perts Suggest

by ROSEANNE PEREIRA AND MARC SILVER

August 30, 2006 5:14 PM

To keep your brain powered up, the first meal of the day should be rich in protein and good carbohydrates — the whole-grain variety that will sustain you for a long spell rather than the sugary kind that will push your blood sugar up, then let it fall. We asked three experts for their breakfast advice.

Stacey Nelson, Senior clinical nutritionist, MGH Nutrition Services in Boston

What I ate this morning: Peanut butter and jelly on multigrain bread, ice coffee with low-fat milk.

General recommendations: 1-2 slices of whole-grain toast or whole-wheat English muffin or toasted whole-grain waffle topped with peanut butter and a glass of low-fat milk.

Breakfast burrito: whole-wheat tortilla or pita pocket stuffed with scrambled egg mixed with salsa

1-2 slices of whole-grain toast with melted low-fat cheese and tomato

Whole-grain cereals, hot or cold, with low-fat milk or yogurt and 1-2 tablespoons of slivered nuts on top. If the cereal box label says there are 3 grams of fiber or more a serving, that means there is significant fiber.

What to avoid: I never like to demonize any food. But I would recommend limiting or avoiding refined and sugary starches and very fatty foods in the morning — donuts, a corn muffin with extra butter. The lack of fiber, vitamins/minerals and protein in these meals means minimal nutrition, and a meal that likely won't stick with you for very long.

Terrill Bravender, associate professor of pediatrics and director of adolescent medicine, Duke University

What I ate this morning: Today I had nine-grain organic bread with crunchy peanut butter, a red Gala apple, a glass of skim milk and later a cup of coffee. My 10-year-old son made French toast from whole-grain bread with maple syrup for himself and his 6-year-old brother.

General recommendations: Whole-wheat toast with peanut butter, a glass of milk and a piece of fresh fruit.

A bowl of whole-grain cereal (cold or oatmeal), preferably with nuts, milk, fresh fruit.

Whole-wheat toast, 1 or 2 eggs, milk, fresh fruit

What to avoid: Any concentrated sweets that are eaten alone. These would include sugared cereals, fruit juice alone or breakfast pastries alone. Breakfast meat is okay if not consumed in excess and if there is a whole-grain carbohydrate source included.

J. Michael Murphy, senior psychologist, Massachusetts General Hospital and associate professor of psychology, Harvard Medical School

What I ate this morning: Oatmeal — right from the box — and milk topped with raisins. I don't cook it. I checked with the scientists from Quaker and they said it is fine to eat it this way, too. Cooking the oats just softens them up. [Editor's note: We asked a brave volunteer to try uncooked oats and milk; her verdict: "Okay, but not nearly as good as cooked."]

General recommendation: Whole-grain cereal like oatmeal or shredded wheat with low-fat milk, topped with fresh or dried fruit and honey.

What to avoid: Foods with empty calories like soda and potato chips.