"There can be no substitute for work, neither affection nor physical well-being can replace it."
Dr. Maria Montessori

Friday, March 8, 2013

Makers: Women Who Make America

Such A Great Video:

http://video.pbs.org/video/2331257357



Overscheduled kids, anxious parents
CNN.com
Editor's note: CNN's Josh Levs covers top stories and hosts "Dads Do it Differently" on HLN's "Raising America." This column was inspired in part by his HOBY World Leadership Congress keynote talk,"Shine."


(CNN) -- Are we, as a nation, making childhood too stressful for millions of kids?

Are we cramming them into too many after-school activities without an eye toward what lessons they'll learn about themselves?

Have we forgotten what childhood can and should be like?

These are just a few of the big existential worries that spiral out of a simple-sounding question millions of parents ask ourselves: What activities should my children be involved in?

As a dad to two young boys, I'm quickly learning what so many parents already know: It's stressful territory that involves a tough balancing act.

But recently, standing before a large crowd, I had a realization that now serves as my guidepost, and that I hope will help others.

What if your kid's a budding prodigy?

Good parents want to help our kids learn skills, gain confidence, find interests and try new things. When they're young, it's easy to want to give them every opportunity.

But that's impossible, not to mention expensive.

One of my boys has drummed to the beat since he was a baby, so I'm looking into drum lessons. The other can't stop dancing, so maybe he'll take dance lessons. Both love playing catch with me. Tee ball time?

The oldest, in kindergarten, chose tennis lessons. And they both love their swim lessons.

The possibilities are endless.

What if one is meant to be a pole vaulting chess prodigy, and the other's an Olympic gymnast who paints masterpieces? How will they know if we don't introduce them to all these things?

And so the spiraling begins, which helps lead some parents to sign our kids up for too many activities.

There are studies saying the "overscheduled child" is a "myth," but those are about generation-wide statistics. The fact remains that some kids are kept far too busy.

"Parents need to teach their kids to balance human doing with human being," said clinical psychologist Paula Bloom.

Kids need to know they're not defined by what they do, she said. They need time to play, experiment, rest and figure out who they are.

"As parents, we've got to get over our anxiety that we're not doing enough. Creating a sense of safety, helping kids have confidence to try certain things, those are the things that matter."

As kids get older, they'll show you more and more what they're interested in, Bloom notes.
And, yes, we all make mistakes.

"As adults, your kids are going to tell their therapists, 'Oh my parents never let me play piano,' or some other activity. It's going to happen. Being able to tolerate that is really important."

League sports for little kids?

Many of my kids' friends started soccer leagues at age 3. My wife and I asked ourselves: Do we want our boys to be the only ones without soccer skills? We want them to know they can do anything and to join the camaraderie.

But on top of their other activities, our kids have religious education one weekend morning. Soccer would mean not a single morning all week to relax at home, unstructured.

A great dad I know, a personal trainer (full disclosure: mine) who works regularly with teen athletes, is vehemently against kids entering sports leagues before they're about age 11 or 12.

Adults are "trying to instill grown-up values and competitive nature on a kid, and they're nowhere near that yet," said Robert Stephens. "They're trying to make them into world champions. That's nuts!"

Stephens, who along with his wife raised two boys, wants kids to start playing neighborhood pickup games again.

"It teaches them how to regulate themselves, make up rules," and fix problems, he said.

But these days, that rarely happens. And as CNN has reported, league sports are helping fill a vacuum and keep many kids active.

Your advice:

In a Facebook discussion, some parents said their kids' sports leagues are mostly about having fun.

Dawn Ladd said her 6-year-old daughter's soccer league is "organized, but obviously not competitive."
Still, many parents say leagues aren't right for their little ones.
"We tried... and it was awful. What 4-year-old is ready?" asks Christina Comstock. She now limits her son's activities to scouts and karate. #kids

Many parents wrote that two activities at a time is their maximum. But others have seen their children thrive on busy schedules.

My colleague Jo Parker's two children have done ballet for years. Her 12-year-old daughter goes five days a week. Cutting back might make the family's life easier, Parker said. "But she loves it too much!"

Ultimately, it's up to each family.

"There's no decision tree," said Bloom, no "perfect cocktail."

There is, however, a critical element that often falls to the wayside: the family's overall lifestyle.

"There are families with so much stress because all weekend they're traveling to games. We don't let our kids drive all the decisions in our families. They don't have to drive extracurricular decisions," Bloom said.

And many parents get so busy with kids' activities that they let their marriages falter, she said. "Parents need to ask themselves: What are you modeling for your kid?"

The realization:

I was standing in front of hundreds of teenagers when I realized something about raising my own kids.

It was a keynote address to the Hugh O'Brian Youth Leadership (HOBY) World Leadership Congress. 
My message was to "be the cups and ice," my way of saying you should chase and maximize all your opportunities to achieve dreams and to "shine" by being unique, following your instincts.

As I looked out at these kids from all over the world who have stepped up in their communities and shown great potential, it struck me that I couldn't care less whether they can run an 8-minute mile, play the violin, or set up a tent.

I care that they know they can achieve anything, that they understand big rewards come from perseverance and hard work, that they treat others as they'd want to be treated.

I care that they fill their lives with positivity, love and friendship, and take time for those things.

I realized I had gotten caught up in the means, not the end.

It isn't about a search for the perfect activities. My role as a parent is to help guide my kids to that good place. And there are plenty of ways to get there.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Do not skip breakfast--or your grades could pay a price!


A Better Breakfast Can Boost a Child's Brainpower

Evidence suggests that eating breakfast really does help kids learn. After fasting all night, a developing body (and brain) needs a fresh supply of glucose — or blood sugar. That's the brain's basic fuel.
"Without glucose," explains Terrill Bravender, professor of pediatrics at Duke University, "our brain simply doesn't operate as well. People have difficulty understanding new information, [they have a] problem with visual and spatial understanding, and they don't remember things as well."
Dozens of studies from as far back as the 1950s have consistently shown that children who eat breakfast perform better academically than those who don't. In a recent study of 4,000 elementary school students, researchers measured the effects of eating breakfast by administering a battery of attention tests. To measure short-term memory, researchers read a series of digits out loud — 5, 4, 2 and so on — and asked the children to repeat them. The children were scored on how many digits they could remember correctly. To test verbal fluency, the kids were asked to name all the animals they could think of in 60 seconds. Across the board, Murphy says, the breakfast eaters performed better than those children who had skipped breakfast.
With the preponderance of evidence suggesting that breakfast is key, the next question becomes: Does it matter what kind of breakfast kids eat?
The answer is: Yes.
Bravender, for example, says he'd never serve his children heavily sweetened cereals. "Any sugared cereal really has a high glycemic index."
The glycemic index is a measure of how quickly the carbohydrates in food are absorbed into our bodies and converted to fuel. When it comes to sustained brain power, Bravender explains, food that is low on the scale — such as whole grains — are preferable. Even though a bowl of sugary cereal and a bowl of old-fashioned oatmeal may have the same number of carbohydrates, they have very different glycemic loads.
Sugary cereals get into your body quickly and cause a peak in blood-sugar levels, but the levels then fall dramatically after two hours or so. Oatmeal, on the other hand, is absorbed slowly, so oatmeal eaters gets a slow rise in blood sugar and enough energy to last through the morning.
What's more, oatmeal eaters don't experience a steep drop in blood-sugar levels, and that's a good thing. A dip in blood sugar can bring with it a release of hormones that affect mood. In some children, the hormones seem to affect concentration and memory.
Scientists have recently begun to study this phenomenon. Last year, Tufts University psychologist Holly Taylor had one group of children eat sweetened oatmeal for breakfast while another ate Cap'n Crunch cereal. Then both groups were given academic tasks, like memorizing the names of countries on a map. The oatmeal eaters did up to 20 percent better than the Crunch consumers. To Taylor, that shows that "the children were remembering more information about these maps after having eaten oatmeal."
And it wasn't as if the oatmeal wasn't sweet. Both cereals had the same sugar content. But Taylor says that the oatmeal had more protein and fiber, and therefore a lower glycemic index.
These findings beg more research. But Duke's Terrill Bravender believes there are some basic rules to follow. First, families should make sure kids eat something for breakfast. And if the goal is to find foods with a low glycemic index, then serve fewer processed foods. That will improve the odds that your child's blood sugar will hold steady until lunch.
Breakfast of Scholars: What Eggs-perts Suggest
by ROSEANNE PEREIRA AND MARC SILVER
August 30, 2006 5:14 PM

To keep your brain powered up, the first meal of the day should be rich in protein and good carbohydrates — the whole-grain variety that will sustain you for a long spell rather than the sugary kind that will push your blood sugar up, then let it fall. We asked three experts for their breakfast advice.
Stacey Nelson, Senior clinical nutritionist, MGH Nutrition Services in Boston
What I ate this morning: Peanut butter and jelly on multigrain bread, ice coffee with low-fat milk.
General recommendations: 1-2 slices of whole-grain toast or whole-wheat English muffin or toasted whole-grain waffle topped with peanut butter and a glass of low-fat milk.
Breakfast burrito: whole-wheat tortilla or pita pocket stuffed with scrambled egg mixed with salsa
1-2 slices of whole-grain toast with melted low-fat cheese and tomato
Whole-grain cereals, hot or cold, with low-fat milk or yogurt and 1-2 tablespoons of slivered nuts on top. If the cereal box label says there are 3 grams of fiber or more a serving, that means there is significant fiber.
What to avoid: I never like to demonize any food. But I would recommend limiting or avoiding refined and sugary starches and very fatty foods in the morning — donuts, a corn muffin with extra butter. The lack of fiber, vitamins/minerals and protein in these meals means minimal nutrition, and a meal that likely won't stick with you for very long.
Terrill Bravender, associate professor of pediatrics and director of adolescent medicine, Duke University
What I ate this morning: Today I had nine-grain organic bread with crunchy peanut butter, a red Gala apple, a glass of skim milk and later a cup of coffee. My 10-year-old son made French toast from whole-grain bread with maple syrup for himself and his 6-year-old brother.
General recommendations: Whole-wheat toast with peanut butter, a glass of milk and a piece of fresh fruit.
A bowl of whole-grain cereal (cold or oatmeal), preferably with nuts, milk, fresh fruit.
Whole-wheat toast, 1 or 2 eggs, milk, fresh fruit
What to avoid: Any concentrated sweets that are eaten alone. These would include sugared cereals, fruit juice alone or breakfast pastries alone. Breakfast meat is okay if not consumed in excess and if there is a whole-grain carbohydrate source included.
J. Michael Murphy, senior psychologist, Massachusetts General Hospital and associate professor of psychology, Harvard Medical School
What I ate this morning: Oatmeal — right from the box — and milk topped with raisins. I don't cook it. I checked with the scientists from Quaker and they said it is fine to eat it this way, too. Cooking the oats just softens them up. [Editor's note: We asked a brave volunteer to try uncooked oats and milk; her verdict: "Okay, but not nearly as good as cooked."]
General recommendation: Whole-grain cereal like oatmeal or shredded wheat with low-fat milk, topped with fresh or dried fruit and honey.
What to avoid: Foods with empty calories like soda and potato chips.